Building Camelot - Latest Comments in The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Alison Shaw — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:24:46 -0000

Having children has made me realise that even though I may prefer to stay home and not interact with other people due to being extemely shy, they deserve and need more than just me in their life and need to interact with other children their age. This has led me to become a lot more confident and now I help run a group for Mothers of Preschoolers and hopefully I'll be able to keep encouraging other Mums with young children with their own parenting.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Yuen Ho — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:53:13 -0000

I learnt that raising kids is like 24/7 52 weeks 356 days a year job. It gets easier as they get older but it's tiring nonetheless. So whilst I lost hair, got fat and relearnt all those texts that I'd thought I would'nt have to see ever again, I gained patience, a respect for all parents including my own, a reason to work harder and definitely a whole lot less selfish.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Susan LeBlanc — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 23:44:29 -0000

When you become a parent your life then revolves around your child not yourself. My daughter and I spent lots of time together - whether it was reading bedtime stories, playing with dolls or playdoh, going to fairs and festivals, and so on. It didn't cost a lot of money - but involved quality time. And now that she's an adult we still enjoy spending time together. This relationship helped make remind me that the most important thing you can share with someone is your friendship and support.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Roman Santillan — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 13:14:37 -0000

Better than ever is when one is together and sharing the time and experience.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

collegeBC — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 12:13:09 -0000

Hi Tyler,

Count me in!

Just wrote my entry. Gave a link back and emailed you as well.

Here it is: http://www.collegebc.com/re...

Best wishes!

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Ming — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:06:23 -0000

My life was forever changed the day I welcomed my baby boy to this world. Financially, my wife and I were not ready to take on the task of raising a kid. We had just finished paying off the medical bills that my dad incurred for his back treatment. My wife and I both worked in restaurant, so our wages back then were quite low. We just couldn't afford for one of us to stay home full time to take care of the baby. Our plan was to wait several years when we were more financially stable. However every time we saw other kids playing with their parents, our desire became increasingly strong. Fortunately, my parents volunteered to move in with us and take care of the baby while we worked. With that taken care, everything was in place as we anxiously awaited the arrival of our love gem. However, just few months after my baby boy was born, my dad's back started to act up again. The american treatment was obviously not working. My dad needed to go back to China as my relatives suggested that a combined treatment of acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and martial arts can fully cure his back. My mom had to go back as well to take care of him. We were so devastated when we heard this. Due to our poor economic status, hiring a full time babysitter was a bit too expensive. We had no choice but to send our baby boy to China to be raised by my wife's parents. Our plan was that once we were more financially stable, we would take him back. It was so heart-wrenching to have the love-of-our-life leaving us at only three months old, to know that we won't be there to hear him utter his first word, to see him take his first steps, to rock him in the cradle of our arms, to hear him laugh and cry. I have never shed more tears on any other occasion than the day I had to say good-bye to my baby boy. That separation had taught me something valuable, shone a new light on my life, and changed my perspectives about giving back to the communities. I no longer saw others just as my fellow human beings, they are also the cherished sons and daughters of others regardless of how old they are. From that time on, I no longer tossed aside donation letters citing my poor economic condition as an excuse. I started to take interest in helping those growing without the love of their parents in any way I can. I might not have much money to give, but I gladly donate myself to charity works. I have continued that habit to this day.

Motivational Force

Shortly after my baby boy left, I began to think about my future. Working in the restaurant paid very little. However, there weren't much jobs outside of Chinese community for someone with limited English. My wife hardly knew any English at all, so she had no choice but to confine herself to the slave labor that is restaurant. On the other hand, I had other options. I had some college under my belt. I dropped out because of my family's dire financial condition, especially not possible after my dad's back pain started to manifest. To give my child a better future, to allow him soar as high as possible, I needed to get a better-paying job. I needed to go back to school to get an accounting degree. And my wife was very supportive of my decision. I was able to find a night shift at one restaurant. So during the day, I would go to a community college and at night, work. I knew that getting through was going to be a daunting task, but the rewards would be lifelong. During the three years of working and going to school full-time, I had no more than six hours of sleep everyday, excluding Sunday which I had the day off to catch up some sleep and piling schoolwork. To help me staying awake and alert, I had to drink one kind of ridiculously bitter tea that made my face scowl every time I drank it ( Drinking coffee gives me weird sensation). Every morning, I literally had to drag myself up and sometimes with my wife's help. I don't know how many times did I think about quitting. What kept me going was my baby boy. He was the greatest motivational force I could ever had at that time. Even to this day, he is still the source of my motivation. Due to the current poor economy, my restaurant has floundered a bit. To help keeping the restaurant afloat and paying for my kid's college education, I have to take on a second job. In a typically week, I work a little bit over 100 hours. I am not complaining. well just a little bit. My kid has made me into a strong-willed person, who can take on whatever life throws at me.

Fast forward five years, I had solidified my position at a fair-sized accounting firm in Manhattan, and my wife, through years of hard work and countless hours at learning English, had become a restaurant manager. This time, everything REALLY was in place to welcome our boy to America. Fortunately, all those expensive international phone calls and stacks of photos on the day of reunion as he readily jumped into our arms and proceeded to call us, papa and mama, until our ears turned sore. Back home, my relatives had always told me how much my kid resembled me, that he was a mirror of me in many different way. Typically, when a parent hears this, he or she would take pride in that and grin from ear to ear. To me, that's not the case. Being a mirror of me was actually a bad thing because I had at that time so many character flaws that were ill-fitted to our current society. Those would put him at a huge disadvantage compared to other kids. My life at that time was a living proof. Fearing the worst, I knew I needed to find one way or another to nurture him into a better man. And in the process preparing him for the future, I have come to a better understanding of my personal shortcomings and learnt to straighten them out as well.

Joy Oh Joy

As many parents have mentioned before, having kids really brings great joy to their life, sometimes sprouting flowers in a once desolate garden that had long forgotten what flowers look like. That's the magic my boy brings to me. Growing up, I was more sad than glad most of the time due to my family's dismal financial conditions. How can you be happy when you, at the age of ten, have to get up at six o' clock in the morning not to go to school but to work in the field; when you are constantly hungry because the rice pudding you eat has more water than rice; when you can only jealously watch other people playing their toys because your family is too darn poor to spend on those things: when you have to walk on scorching roads bare-footed because you have to save the only pair of shoes you have for winter; when the only time you ever get one new piece of clothes is on New Year's day. Even when I came to America at the age of 13, my life wasn't so much better off. At school, I often got teased and bullied because I didn't speak English. In a sick twist of event, when my baby boy was born, he cried much more frequently than other babies at this age. Later to ensure that he will be glad more than sad, we would do anything to elicit laughters from him, that includes tickle him in the stomach and feet as often as possible, watch comedies, telling jokes, doing fun activities together, etc. Laughter is indeed contagious. In the process of making him laugh more, he had provided me with lots of happy moments that slowly set the happy tone for my future. As he grew older, he would often bring home jokes that made me laugh really hard that my stomach hurt. Of course, people around me have noticed that I have become a happier person, much easy going than before. My perspectives on life have also changed. I no longer see a cup as half empty but rather half full.

Shyness

I have to admit that growing up, I was a very shy person. I heard from my parents that most of my relatives were the same growing up, with some obvious exception. As time passed, some of them stayed the same, some improved a little bit, and some made a 360 degree turn-about. I was in that second group. Sadly to say, my boy also inherited that trait. He's very reluctant, or shall I say scared, at meeting new people. Oftentimes, I would take my boy with me on errands. And along the way, if I saw any of my friends and relatives, I would stop and talk to them for a while. Of course, I would try to introduce my boy. Apparently, he wanted no piece of that. He would actually hide behind my legs and cover up his face with my pants. Then he would tug my pants to signal that it's time to go. Occassionally, he would tug too hard and pull down one side of my pants. I knew I had to do something to help my kid shed that barrier wall in order to live a more full-filling life. However since I was a shy person to begin with, that task proved to be a bit challenging. Fortunately, I managed to enlist a smart outgoing girl to help me out. In the meantime, I would bury myself in self-helping guide, and watch videos to analyze the behaviors of outgoing individuals. Of course, I had to test whatever tricks I learned on myself to see if they work or not. In fact, I was learning WITH him. During that time, I had to do a lot of things that I could never do if it were not for the motivational force that was my little boy. Of course, he had to do them too. Needless to say, it was a very slow process. We didn't make a 360 degree turnabout, but what we accomplished was good enough for both of us that we no longer felt uneasy talking with strangers. Well, just a little bit. As a result of this training, I became more proactive, rather than reactive when it comes to making acquaintances.

Communication Arts

Typically, communication skills go hand in hand with shyness. People who are shy, more often than not, are not really good at communicating with others. They might be a decent writer or reader, however speaking, not so much. Because they talk less, they miss out the practice of making them fluent speakers. And because they are not fluent speaker, they talk even less. A vicious cycle is thus born. That really hit the nail on my head. I could only sputter a string of short sentence together. Ask me to tell a story, I would stutter after few sentences and then things would become confusing.So I avoided telling stories like a plague. This lack of communication skills, in retrospect, had caused me to miss out on lots of opportunities whether it be making new friends, advancing my career in early part of my life. Obviously, I didn't want that same thing to happen to my son. Same with overcoming shyness, I needed to better myself first then I can pass down the knowledge to him. To articulate my speech, I would tune to a random English show and repeat whatever they said. And throughout the years, one activity we did often was debate about controversials and current events. We would literally talk till our face turned red (which happened very quickly in the beginning), and our mouth became dry in order to push our communicating boundaries. All these efforts really paid off for both of us. At the beginning of my job at the accounting firm, I worked in the back office, doing all the drudging work that nobody wanted to do. As I became a better communicator, I managed to persuade my boss to let me work in the front office, such as meeting new clients, contact lawyers about tax codes, etc. As later when I opened my own restaurant, I found those communtication skills quite useful at negotiating contracts with landlords and suppliers, and maintaining good relationship with customers.

Patience

The one thing that is central to all these father-son activities is patience. I thought I was a fairly patient guy until my son showed me the limit of my endurance. The initial stages of all the activities I mentioned above were really difficult to implement. It took an awful lot of time in the beginning just to get my son to smile and say his name when meeting someone new. Because of his young age, he didn't really understand the importance of those activities. So his progress was very slow. Later I found out through the hard way the the harder I pushed him, the more defiant or reluctant he became. Eventually, I learnt to more much more accommodating through altering my mind set, such as putting myself in my boy's shoes, allowing extra time to do certain things, meditating, etc. Quite frankly, I should thank my son for testing the limit of my patience as he grew up. Without him, I would still be that guy who naively thinks he's a patient person. As such, my friends and relatives have been quite amazed of my patience that they nicknamed me as a monk. At the restaurant that I currently work(not the one I own, a night shift job to complement the little money we get from our restaurant), we just hired a new guy couple days ago. Of course as a rule, the old guys were supposed to show him the rope. However the problem is he does things very awkwardly and is very slow to catch on. I am the only one teaching him right now; everybody else has already given up.

I could continue to detail all the things that I have learnt, such as being a better team player by working together with my wife to raise my kid, and changes I have made, such as in the process of helping my kid lose weight, I have become a healthier person and being in much better shape than when I was young. If I were to chronicle all those, my entry will be much too long. So, I will just stop here and take the moment to reflect the whole experience.

Thanks to my son, I have become a much better person through the journey that we embarked long time ago. He has made more impacts, at least made me realize the needs to change myself, than I could ever imagined prior to being a dad. In the process of helping my boy climb the ladder of childhood, learn attitudes and skills to overcome the challenges he found each step of the way,I have discovered much about myself and I have strive to be all I can be.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Guest — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:35:15 -0000

In a few weeks, my eighteen-year-old son is entering his second year of college. I am so proud of this thoughtful, studious handsome young man but I will admit there were times when I wondered what would happen to us. When he was younger, we enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle, complete with vacations, nice clothes and a nice vehicle. Then I lost my job and my health and so our life, as we knew it was over. At first I tried to hide our circumstances from him, but there are some things such as running out of heating fuel in the dead of winter that speaks for itself. I knew he was as scared as I was, and with that fear came the same humiliation and dread that I felt. His personality changed and he was angry, and what was so sad was that he was angry with me. It certainly wasn’t the life I thought we would have.

I then did the same things that countless other parents do for their children, and I learned that making sure he was well dressed and well groomed made me happier than if I had bought new clothes or had regular haircuts for myself. I didn’t have the same peer pressure that he had in school, and it didn’t matter to me how long I wore my clothes or if they were stylish. I let my hair grow long to save a bit more money although people constantly commented how great I look with short hair. I would never have thought that a haircut was a luxury item.

I made the biggest effort around his birthdays and Christmas. I always over-decorated and searched to find the smallest turkey in town, a “turkey for two”. The worst year was when I scrounged for ninety extra dollars to buy him a snowskate, a “big” present to go with the candy and oranges in his Christmas stocking. He said he was so happy with his gift but I wondered if it was my sensitive boy trying to make me feel better as his friends were receiving the latest Playstations and X-boxes.

We sometimes look at those photos taken over the years, some, of those long-ago exotic vacations and the pictures of him sitting in front of the Christmas trees, taken on each of the fifteen Christmas mornings that we have spent in this house. Many of the photos are of him and his friends hamming it up while we were camping in tents or fishing, oblivious to the fact that I scrambled for gas money and prayed our old car wouldn’t break down on the way.

I have always told him since he was a little boy that finishing high school meant that he was about two thirds of his way through completing his education so he always knew he was going to college and university. He did appear puzzled when other kids he knew either didn’t graduate or said they were finished with education after high school. Last year, after his high-school graduation, he said he didn’t know if we could afford college, which was the equivalent of driving a stake through my heart. He may have got that silly idea because I couldn’t afford to buy him a graduation present and while I did attend the cap and gown, I didn’t have the money to buy a ticket for myself to attend the dinner. I did make sure that he had a suit and a ticket for himself and a date. I drove them but dropped them off on the street just in case the clunker croaked while his friends were getting out of their limos. I didn’t tell him I couldn’t afford a ticket, I said that I wouldn’t be comfortable there and he knows I can’t dance anyways. Although this September will be stressful and tight, like last September, we will do it with the help of grants and bursaries.

I am more patient with the people that are counting change as they are buying their groceries or holding up the line to put back the items that they can’t afford. I look differently at the people that wander the streets and I am thankful that we still have a place to live. I am still generous with others although what I give is on a lesser scale.

Over these past years, I have learned that even as I scramble to pay the mortgage payment and the overdue bills, life goes on and we will survive and our house will continue to be one of laughter and fun. I have learned that my son does not speak to his friends about the lack of money during the Christmas season; instead he tells his friends that everyday when he comes home from school “there is a different smell in the house from my mom baking” and he brings his friends home with pride to feast on cookies and other treats. I learned from his friends that the times they went fishing or camping in tents with my son and I were the only times they had ever done that, even the boys that have two successful parents with nice recreational vehicles but no time. The Christmas I bought my son the snowskate, it turned out that he spent every waking moment playing in the snow and his friends ended up getting them too, so my son became an accidental trendsetter. A few years ago at Christmas, my son bought me a computer with money he had earned and needless to say, I was overwhelmed. He could have used the money for other things, including a computer for himself but he was doing what I had done for him. Through these tough times, my son’s sense of humour has returned, there is an added depth to his character, and academically he has flourished, and I know that in spite of all the tough times, he will be okay and that’s all I ever wanted.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Mary — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:17:11 -0000

When I had my first child, I hadn't yet finished high school. It hadn't been because I had dropped out of school, but because where I grew up, it wasn't uncommon for parents to make their children work instead of sending them to school, and that's what happened to me, but I had always wanted to finish school... and I was finally able to enroll in classes right around the time my first daughter was born. Since I couldn't count on anyone, I had to take my baby daughter with me to classes. It was tough. Living in a big city and having to take public transportation added to the chaos that was having to carry a bag full of diapers, a bottle of milk, and anything else my baby needed. I was often fearful that something bad would happen, but having my baby with me in class gave me strength. Her presence made it possible for me to go through the day. It made me happy, and that's how I learned that being together was what could make things work. Later on I had a son and another daughter, and being with them, being their mother was what taught me how to be strong.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Evan B | Losing the World — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 01:41:37 -0000

I've posted my response at our blog, LosingtheWorld dot com. I've emailed you as well, just in case this doesn't get through. Hopefully you meant 12am PST.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

david vickers — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:41:24 -0000

Its been a good 18 years since I first met Lacey. Before that day I had only been communicating to her through my words and her through her kicks. After that day communication changed to screaming, then babbling, then talking, back to screaming, and now again, in her post teens, talking.

I think if you dont evolve rasing a child, then you're only dreaming about having kids, so wake up, it catches anyone offguard eventually. Situations arrive that you can't handle without it tripping your swaggering stride. Before I was never held hostage to do anything, never resonsible, always doing what I wanted to do. having a child flips a switch, an everything upside down switch.

From the first day, making the drive home like I was carrying a bomb ready to go off and every car was way too close us, our little package has taught me responsibility, our little package had taught me unconditional, and unexpected, love.

It was a hot night and everyone was eating barbeque, Lacey was 4 years old and she was sitting on the lawn eating, as we all ate everyone was having a great time talking and laughing. She lay on her side then she didnt get up, she started shaking, she was in a fit choking on a piece of sausage, and it was the most horrible thing I've ever experienced as a parent. The thought of losing a little one, she started to go limp she was almost blue and we couldnt get her to release out what was in her throat. Eventually after what felt like a lifetime she threw up enough to dislodge the culprit. She was seen by paramedics and taken to hospital for a night of monitoring. I couldnt sleep instead just stared at her all night, watching her breathe and thinking about life and events of past.

What I took away from that day was an appreciation of life, Lacey's, my wifes, my own and our future. We have more kids now and they are all great, they continue to exceed our expectations as human beings. We have had many bumps, bruises, cuts, scapes, you name it, but none quite so traumatic and thought provoking as that first event. Maybe we were more cautious because of it. Its made me change the way I live, I wake everyday happy to be a part of something, a family, I love my family and appreciate them for surviving and helping me to survive life. Parenting is never guaranteed we are lucky to still have her and looking back now its amazing how far a child can go. Survival is the only way forward and some are not as lucky. It also gave me an appreciation for my own life and my historic events good or bad. She is on her first year of university and we are all very proud we played a part in helping her achieve her goals, though we know she is the one who survived to get there.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Joeprah — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:47:35 -0000

Hey Tyler,

Great contest! Well, I am sure there are plenty of other deserving folks out there, but for me and how having children has changed my life I can point to any number of reasons. Sure you can say that having kids make you more civicly minded. I have volunteered now more than I ever have in the past. I run a chess club at my daughters elementary school, I am on the board of two rec programs, I coach multiple sports and volunteer time at school.

Sure you can say that having kids makes you selfless. I measure purchases based on how many kids toys that would equate to or how many piano lessons that would be. I have worn tattered clothes and driven heaps for so long and I don't even care because they only symbolize how much we love our kids and how insignificant material items are once kids enter the picture.

Kids have made me funnier, stronger and almost indestructable according to my kids that is. I am now a super man. It's great to looked up to but with that comes a lot of responsibility. This responsibility has forced me to examine myself as I have never done in the past. Am I being too arrogant? Am I being too stubborn? What type of example am I setting by drinking milk right out of the carton?

Most of all though, being a stay-at-home dad to three daughters has made me a better person because I get to see the world through the eyes of the opposite sex. I see what my girls are learning from society--what society expects them to be. I see how my wife is treated in a male dominated industry and find myself sympathizing and seeing things from a completely different angle.

Being a dad has made me more aware of the world around me, more empathetic and more caring. In short, having kids is like having my heart walk outside my body three times over. You know what's really strange? It's getting harder and harder remembering what it was like before kids.

Best of luck with the contest! ~ Joe

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

theblackreveller — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:23:56 -0000

My blog entry for the contest: http://theblackreveller.blo...

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

pixie13 — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:13:32 -0000

Since becoming a parent, I've learned how not to be so in control of every little thing. It's difficult, but at some point you just have to take a deep breathe, let them spread their wings, and pray you've taught them well enough to fly. Thanks for the great giveaway.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

luciusxavier — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:05:46 -0000

I personally am not a parent but an aunt. Watching my nephew grow up is amazing. Every time I speak to him he's learned something new he wants to tell me about. it helps you realize how big the world really is and that we should all try to continue to understand it every day.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Deanna — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:25:44 -0000

Having children has made me a better person by bringing me out of my "shell". I was deathly shy as a child and did not have much to say to anyone except my family and friends. I can only imagine how many people mistook my shyness for snootiness! :O Because of my children, I have to talk to people like doctors, other parents and teachers. I'm still not "Mrs. Talk-A-Lot", but definitely have more confidence when it comes to talking to others.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Denise Whiskin — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:02:54 -0000

Once you get used to the little one puking his food down the back of your jacket (as why stay within the confines of the bibs?) I just seem to take more things in my stride.
Where for example someone (okay you got me.... it was me!) spilling coffee on my paperwork or clothes could really spoil my whole day, it just doesn't seem to be such a big deal anymore.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

aislinnl — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:53:32 -0000

Serendipity. A quirky little word, fun to say, not so fun to spell. It means finding the little treasures of life while you were searching or striving for something else altogether. Learning to appreciate it, even seek it out, has probably been the most important thing being a parent has taught me. A common saying these days is “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”. Serendipity happens when you think you’re taking one road, and you find yourself transported somewhere else, somewhere else that may be even better.

I always wanted to be a mother,even as a young girl growing up in Boston in the 60’s. Children were fascinating to me, how they grew, their developing minds, they way they see the world. I went on to attend a private teaching college,graduated after seeking a double major, elementary education K-8, and also trained as a Child Life specialist. A Child Life specialist is a professional who works in pediatric medical settings, helping children of all ages deal cognitively with the stress of medical treatment. The job market for Child Life workers in Boston was saturated when I graduated in 1983, so with my teaching certificate I instead went on to teach kinder-
garten in the children’s center for Massachusetts state employees. Little did I know that my training as a Child Life specialist would later prove vital to me as a parent.

At the time, I may not have ever heard the word serendipity, but it began working its magic in my life just the same. I met my soul mate in a nightclub. I went there that evening to hear a band that I loved, not to find someone to love, but I did. We married 3 years later. We wanted to have children, but decided to wait a bit. Life had other ideas, and we welcomed our daughter Meredith a year and a half later. She is one of the greatest joys of our lives.

We longed for another child. When we felt we could afford to have another , we tried for a year without success. We began testing for secondary infertility, and before any treatment began, I finally became pregnant on my own.

The pregnancy was very easy, a breeze in fact, which was in great contrast to my first pregnancy. I worked full time as a medical assistant; I interviewed for a Child Life position at a local medical center, and funding for that job had been cut by the time I interviewed. I was offered a position as a medical assistant, and I worked there for 12 years. I worked right up until the Friday of my last planned week of work, went home, went into labor that evening and our son Connor was born the following morning. I could not have planned it any better if I had tried.

Then the ceiling fell in. I was almost giddy as I returned to my room after my shower.that following Sunday. I felt terrific, and I was elated that I had been able to have a completely natural birth. Then I saw the pediatrician in my room, and as he stood there telling me that Connor had a heart murmur and would need to be transferred to Mass General right away, I felt the floor underneath my feet seem to shift as if the earth was swallowing up me and my fairy tale life.

Connor was diagnosed with severe heart abnormalities that would require multiple surgeries over time, and underwent his first surgery when he was three days old. We were fortunate that he was full term and weighed nearly nine pounds, so that he was very stable and could withstand the surgery. I remember trying to sleep that night in the pitch blackness across two office chairs in some social worker’s office, since the family lounge was full that night, waiting for word on how our baby was doing, and I remember praying for him not to be made to suffer. It was the hardest thing I have ever prayed for, and it was also the easiest thing, because I wanted him to have a good and happy life.

That was 1993. Flash forward to June 2009, to Connor’s fifth open heart procedure. He is 16 years old now, six feet tall, ready to get his driver’s license. We almost lost him this time, not because of the 8 hour surgery, though that caused a pressure or bed sore on his lower back, and he is still healing it now at the end of August 2009. Post-op he had a very rough time in intensive care, and 10 days after the surgery he suffered a major GI bleed. They tell us that an ulcer developed from all the stress, but that he should not have future stomach problems. We are also told that these last heart repairs should last him for 10 to 15 years.

Even now, even though this summer was not at all what we imagined it might be, I am still grateful for where it has led us. It’s been a hard earned serendipitous journey, but charmed in its own way. Connor and I have always been close, and this whole episode has only made us closer. He will have to have a home tutor for the first few weeks of his junior year, because of this still healing wound, but he will return to school soon enough, and I will miss him when he does. It was a privilege as a mother to watch him these past weeks, to see him start to grow, right before my eyes, into a man of courage, grace, and determination.. He is simply the bravest person I know, and while I am so sorry that he has this extra burden to bear, he has shown that he is up to this challenge, and he was able to find out, for himself, what he is really made of. We already knew.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

annetted — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:22:20 -0000

I am the Mom of two sons ages 20 and 16. I have learned a great deal in my soon to be 21 years as a parent. I'll have to say that being a Mom has been the joy of my life. I worked full time up until I gave birth to my first son and although I had every intention of returning to work after my maternity leave, I just could not leave my little bundle of joy. I learned early on that I could survive on a lot less sleep than I thought I could, since my first born seemed to never sleep, of course that has changed. I think that motherhood had taught me, most of all, to look beyond myself and to put my childrens needs ahead of my own. All my "sacrifices" have paid off. I have two wonderful sons, both of which are Eagle Scouts and honor students. I am very grateful to have been active in my son's lives, including being the only Mom who went along to Boy Scout summer camp. I am very proud of my sons and I'm sure that they are going to continue to do great things! jedoggett@embarqmail.com

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

My3Sons33 — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:00:12 -0000

First off, I am not an essay writer! But I will try. Being a parent has made me grateful. Grateful to have them, first of all. Grateful for my husband, my family, my health, my home, my job. Before I had children, nothing I had was ever good enough, I always wanted something bigger, better. When my first child was born, I thought, I am so lucky to have him! I feel the same about all of my boys. Now I see the best in everything. My husband lost his job and has been struggling to find another steady job in his trade. But being home, he has been able to spend more time with me and our boys. Now, we are working together more, raising our boys, instead of just me during the day while he's at work, and him at night when I am working. It has made such a difference with them. So, in a way, it's been a blessing, as well. We are struggling with our bills, he finds some work, but it's not on a regular basis. Instead of worrying about what we don't have, I look at what we do have, and I am so glad. I used to complain that the job I have wasn't good enough for me. I took a cut in pay to get this job when I got laid off. This has made it even harder for us financially. There is no potential for growth there, either. But I need a job with benefits for all of us. Now, I am just grateful to have my job, and do the best I can at it. I used to just see the attitudes of some of my co-workers. I now know that most of us have a lot more going on at home, that may affect us at work. I've learned to listen to them, see who is inside, and have gained some wonderful friends and teammates. I think the economy is getting better, and we will both be able to find jobs that can support our family better, but for now, I'm happy with what my job provides our family - health insurance, the means to feed my family, and what it provides me - friends.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

joaquimr — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:40:42 -0000

hi :),
I simple became a lot happier, and that´s THE POINT, right !? ( so we can make the others happy too as we should)).
Love you kids!!

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

Nathan Parikh — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:03:25 -0000

Dude this would be awesome to win. Just in time for the new semester :)

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

lindahp — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:52:56 -0000

Before I had kids I thought my life was fine, why would I want to be “tied down” with kids. Boy was I wrong. When I found out I was pregnant it was the best feeling I had in my life. My husband and I would have a new baby to share our love with! Having children has made us better, more responsible and more understanding to others, especially those with children. We have two boys now, four and six years old.

Before having kids my life was empty and I didn’t realize it. Now it’s full of new choices, quick decisions, acting like I know what I am doing. (Then I go look it up to see if I did the right thing). When my husband and I feel confused or not sure of how to solve a problem like getting the kids to pick up toys, eating food or hitting, we sit down together and figure out how to solve it. Teamwork is the key to solving problems. Helping my children to know they are good people and learning unconditional love from each other has made our family “Better Together.”

I have actually been better at speaking in front of groups of people, something I have always been afraid of. This is because I have an audience to practice on, my two kids. Their development has also given me confidence to quietly tell my own mother when I don’t think she is right about something with my kids. I would have never done that before raising my kids. I have always been a shy person but now that I have grown with my great family we are definitely better together and my character is much better. I feel like I can do anything now!

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

jmalathi — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:50:34 -0000

I was married in my twentieth year and in the same year I became a mother of two children. It sounds funny, isn’t it? My first two children were my in-laws. They were very old by that time. Initially, I was confused and afraid of facing them. As days went by, I learnt that crossing sixty years means becoming children once again. That’s why I mention them as my first children.
Those memories are really something. The first time when I stepped into the house, I was cordially invited by a child. I noticed that the child was having only four front teeth. All the while I cooked he sat in the kitchen and he used to stretch his palm for sweets.
In the afternoons when I tried to steal a nap, the boy would be busy making small packets out of newspapers. I was curious and asked the reason. He replied that those packets were for the toothpowder. He reminded me of his four teeth. The boy did not want waste any toothpowder. Even now, after more than four decades, I still laugh at the memory of this incident. The little boy I mention is my father-in-law. As a diabetic he was not allowed to have sweets but since I was not aware of the complication, I obliged with his requests. Later on, I realised my folly and became strict.
In the course of time, I gave to birth to four children-three boys and a girl, in that order. I was all alone in bringing up them since my in-laws had passed away long ago and my husband was busy with his work. Of course, my husband lent me a helping hand when I started to work as a teacher.
While taking care of my children, I was reminded of the advice and tips given by my mother-in-law. I put them into practice for the good of my children.
I love my children and even now do everything to make them happy. My love and commitment to my children influenced my interactions with the students in the school. Having to put up with the needs and demands of four children at home, I had little difficulty in understanding the psychology of the students. My daughter always wanted to hear stories before going to bed and she was pretty demanding in this respect.
In the mornings I had to face pupils in the classroom who were in no way different from my own children. I tried to be a good teacher and whenever the opportunity arose, I told stories to the students. As I was entrusted with the Library, I procured story books for the children.
I tried to motivate the students just as my own children were encouraged. I always made attempts to inculcate in the students the need for hardwork and discipline. I am proud of my traditions and culture and they too found a place at home and also at the school.
My happiness knows no bounds when I hear about the success achieved by some former pupil of mine. The same feeling envelopes me when my children speak of their success. As a mother and a teacher, this happiness is the greatest reward that cannot be equated with any riches.
‘A better together’ idea starts at home. One learns enough virtues to become a good person from his/her mother. I learnt virtues like tolerance, adjustment, friendliness and to serve others living with me. I carried the same virtues to the school and the results were good.
Now when I have retired from the job, all my children are employed and live in different places in India and also sometimes go abroad. They love each other and give love and respect to their parents. My students........same is the case with them. At times when they come across me, my eyes are filled and the throat is choked with happiness at their success. This takes me to the past and the years I spent as a teacher in the school.
Home is the place where the idea of ‘a better together’ starts to take shape and extends to a great beyond.
At 65,I simply hope that my children and pupils would do the same and make the world around them a better place.

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

rebeccatownsend — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:43:02 -0000

When I had my first child I didn't bond with her and struggled. I decided to go back to work after my maternity leave finished. I carried on working while my partner looked after our little girl. A year later we decided to have another child and this time fortunately an instant bond happened. I gave up work and became a stay at home mum. During this time a bond began to grow for my first child. Another child arrived on the scene and suddenly I had 3 children under 5. Through this I learnt to be a good listener have patience and also to read between the line, after all what is said isn't always what is meant.
These skills have been helpful while dealing with my husband. Two years ago he was diagnosed with mental health problems and this has effects all our family. Through my skills learnt from having my children I am able to cope with this situation. I can understand through listening what my husband is going through and read betwen the lines when he says he is fine. Some days are differcult and patience is definately required! But thanks to my children and what I have learnt from them, we get through and are happy!

Re: The HP And Microsoft Back To School Contest

BuckDaddy — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:40:55 -0000

10 Things I Have Learned Since Becoming a Dad is my entry to the contest. I hope we win, I am currently you using my work computer and my wife is using one that is over 10 years old.

My entry can be found here.
http://www.buckdaddyblog.co...

Great contest