DISQUS

Jeremy Neal · 1 year ago

Good article. It's tough to confront fears, but I guess that's how we get over them. I've experienced loss, and it takes a long time to get over it. Your life is never really the same, although time always goes on and takes you with it. I'm sure it wasn't easy writing this one.

Xbox4NappyRash · 1 year ago

I find myself thinking along the same lines, I think off into the future and I end up worrying about stuff that simply doesn't apply.

A little fear is good, keeps us reminded of what we have worthwhile, but too much I think we gotta learn to leave it a little.

Nice piece.

Tyler · 1 year ago

@Jeremy: I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I wasn't easy writing this because your mind can do in 20 different directions.
@XBox: You're right - too much fear and we can easily become paralyzed. Not a good place to be when you are a father.

tom · 1 year ago

Tyler - I can certainly empathize with your fears. Like other dads I've had to live with loss of interaction and loss of love due to divorce, and it is a bitter pill. Like Jeremy said, I try to use my fear as a motivator, but take care to avoid focusing on it entirely so as to not become paralyzed, as you mentioned. As a dad our job is to keep our kids in focus, not our own fears/dreams/wants.

Stephen · 1 year ago

I'm constantly having to 'cast down' those thoughts, those fears, about my kids dying or getting injured, or fear of somehow getting so busy that I miss their childhood, or messing up their lives, or...well, the list goes on and on. But yes, it's difficult getting control of these fears.

Tyler · 1 year ago

@Tom:
You bring up a very good point. We can't allow our fears to run our lives and we must always keep our kids ahead of that fear. Thanks for the comment.
@Stephen:
My fears come and go as well. I seem to worry about a lot of things that I shouldn't worry about and these are just a few of 'em.

daddybrain · 1 year ago

Fear and loss. Two heavy topics - but very important to address and reflect on.

My wife and I experienced two ectopic pregnancies before we had our boys. We believe the children we lost were both girls. I don't think we'll be having any more kids, and this makes me sad because I miss my girls. I think about them every day and I feel their spirits around quite often.

These thoughts and feelings make me that much more appreciative for the two little stinkers I do have!

Thank you for this honest, brave post about a topic we all think about but seldom share.

Peace,

Joey
www.daddybrain.wordpress.com

BusyDad · 1 year ago

well put. And yes, losing my child is something that I dread. I could not imagine life without him. And no, I would not move on. Simple as that.

Andrew is getting fit · 1 year ago

I think I have all of these fears. I went through the first one when my wife miscarried but fortunately we have a great baby daughter now.

Tyler · 1 year ago

@Babbo: Thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how kids come into our lives and the love and heartache we feel for them.
@BusyDad: Thanks - I don't think I could ever move on either
@Andrew: Thanks for coming by and for the comment. Congrats on your daughter! Hope to hear from you again.

Mike · 1 year ago

And the most frightening part is that the loss of any one of these might trigger the loss of others. I want to feel this way about my son and my family forever. Best feeling in the world.

Scott @ The Passive Dad · 1 year ago

Now that my daughter is 4 years old, I'm worried that she'll find me boring and not fun to be with any longer.

It's just part of growing up, but we still want our kids to be our babies. Hard to watch them grow up and want to be with other friends. My wife keeps telling me to enjoy the time we have together. Hey, you can always have another one :)

Demographics Researcher · 1 year ago

Thanks for sharing these intimate thoughts with your blog readers. Hope you also shared these feelings with your wife. Chances are, she has even more fears than you do, but I'm sure you can help each other by talking honestly about it.

Dylan · 10 months ago

I'm sorry I don't have any advice to give, as i'm only 17 myself.
I did come across this piece though and I thought it was wonderfully layed out. Perhapps I could put in my two cents as a younger perspective? I remember growing up and always being closer to my mom when I needed small things like the list that you had put up above. Unfortunately I don't have the source but I think children are more apt to be closer to their parent of the opposite sex, perhaps not at this younger age though.