DISQUS

dadofdivas · 1 year ago

I agree with you completely on all of this. I have been amazed at the love that I have in my heart for my daughters and how much I hurt when they say something hurtful and how much you do hurt when they injur themselves or are wronged in some way. Becomming a father puts so much in your hands, it is still hard for me to believe that I am molding the lives of two girls. You will soon have that same feeling...have fun with it!

Dad of Divass last blog post..Guest Post is up at Building Camelot - Bringing Home a Second Baby

Lisa C. · 1 year ago

You are soooo right. My husband has always been such a reserved man, but since the birth of our daughters ( we too had a hard time getting pregnant) he has become the greatest teddy bear. (only behind closed doors when he thinks noone is looking, it's quite sweet). Thank you for sharing your story, it really helps put alot into perspective. As a busy sometimes overwhelmed mom you think you are the ONLY one feeling this. Thank You.

Chuck · 1 year ago

Nice post Tyler - The only point I'm on the fence with, and I may just be splitting hairs, is around the notion of true love. I believe this is attainable by folks without children and I'd offer my wife and I as an example. Now, unconditional love I do believe comes with having a child.

What I've learned? Sacrifice takes on an entirely different meaning with the onset of fatherhood. A father should be willing to sacrifice much and often and usually does.

Chucks last blog post..Par for the course

VegasDad · 1 year ago

This post is right on. Being a dad has certainly made me better. I can't wait for the second son coming in November. It'll be a refresher.

VegasDads last blog post..a muddied weekend

Xbox4NappyRash · 1 year ago

Nicely written, and I believe you are correct with most of what you say. I have no doubt that becoming a father has the potential to spark changes for the better in a lot of men.

I do take exception with the same point that Chuck raised.

You say : "I’m convinced that anyone without children doesn’t have an idea of what true love really is"

This, frankly, could not be further from the truth.

I know what true love is, I live it every day.

Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..The croc board speaks

Tyler · 1 year ago

Trying to define and explain the love for a child is difficult at best. Maybe my choice of words weren't the best and they didn't exactly explain my point of view.

@Chuck: True love equals unconditional love in my book. Maybe my statement could have been worded a little differently and maybe I have learned this after becoming a father. It's not the same experience for everyone and it was something that changed me as a man once I became a father.

@Xbox: True and unconditional love for a child is very different than the love you have for your wife. I don't think my statement is "further from the truth" because that implies, for me, that my statement is incorrect. Your experience has been very different than mine and the things I have learned as a father are certainly going to be different than the things you learn.

I do appreciate the comments...whether you agree or disagree. That's what blogs are all about right?

Tom · 1 year ago

Excellent. Simply excellent. You are absolutely correct. I've often said from my own experience that becoming a father is the next step in a man's evolution from childhood, a critical and necessary path to real growth as a man.

Kids definitely force you to become selfless, as they yank that spotlight off of you and onto themselves from day one.

Toms last blog post..Tales of the Sisters: Mad Cow Disease

Matt Jaworski · 1 year ago

Strong men need balance in their lives. I think where most men struggle is with the definition of balance and how much is needed to stay strong. We all need our times with friends or by ourselves, but you can’t hang out with the family for 8 hours on a Saturday and expect to be able belly up at the bar for 8 hours that evening. The reality of fatherhood is that a great deal of your time is needed to nurture and protect your family. From there you’ll learn what your priorities are and be able to determine how you to work them into your so-called free time.

Elliott - 21st Century Dad · 1 year ago

It's such a profound feeling, that everything else seems to pale in comparison. Maybe you will understand true love without children, but you will definitely understand it when you have children.

I tell my daughter that she is my "truest of true loves."

I don't miss single life or even the childless couple lifestyle. Being a dad is the best.

Elliott - 21st Century Dads last blog post..Random Thoughts and Link Roundup - Busy Dads Edition

Ben Martin, THE FATHER LIFE · 1 year ago

This is an excellent post, Tyler. Just great. Timeless truth, well articulated.

DC Urban Dad · 1 year ago

Great post Tyler and excellent stories. What has been the wildest for me is the feeling I get when I now see my wife. I have always been close to her, but now we share something that is beyond a wedding ring and a ceremony. It really is hard to put words around it.

Thinking of you and your family this week. Best of luck.

DorothyL · 1 year ago

What a very warm and inspiring blog topic.
It is so nice to see that men are not afraid to show their love for parenting.
I am intrigued with your choice of picture for this post...it definitely speaks louder than words.
Good luck on your life as a father and family man!
www.womensselfesteem.com

Kim · 1 year ago

From the wife point of view, I can say that I have slowly watched my husband evolve over the past three years and it has indeed made him a better man. It may seem like such a simple statement, but watching him be a father takes my breath away sometimes..

Great post.. :)

Kims last blog post..BlogHer- Part Three- Why I Went To BlogHer

Kevin T. · 1 year ago

Another great post, Tyler. For me, the last five-and-a-half months have been the most rewarding time in my 45 years. Every time I look at my little girl's eyes, I get excited about the times ahead as she grows and learns and experiences the world. Yeah, fatherhood changes you all right. The diapers and the feedings put you in the present, and imagining all the possibilities make you yearn for the future.

Mike · 1 year ago

Great post. I definitely became a better man when my son was born a year and a half ago. He's taught me to think more about others, to be more responsible, and to make time for fun. I think I was a good person before I became a good dad, but I know I'm a much better man now.

Ben Murphy, TheFatherLife.com · 1 year ago

Really great post, Tyler! Well written and so true; congrats on the new addition! -Ben

Child Safety Service · 1 year ago

Hey Tyler. Congratulations. Your site is wonderful and I will bookmark it and check back frequently.

Child Safety Services last blog post..Acknowledgments

Tyler · 1 year ago

Thank you all for your comments. It's great to hear your thoughts and experiences. This wasn't an easy article to write and I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

Jeff · 1 year ago

I agree with you 100%.... since the birth of my first 2 weeks ago. I feel like there is a greater purpose in life. And everytime I look at him I get this unique joy in my heart.

Elvis · 7 months ago

I am going to be a first time dad in December of this year, and eish, its scary but exciting in the same. I wanna be the best dad to my child but I realy dont know how. Should I just do it or are there materials to assist me? whem you go to a library the books on the subject are so many but you dont know where to start. but I need short, tactfull and good materials, not looooooong books.

ha ha ha hha ha hha hha hha ha ha ah a

Tyler Wainright · 7 months ago

Elvis: I'm working on a review of the new Dad Labs book simply called "Dadlabs Guide To Fatherhood" and I'd highly recommend it. It's too the point but informative enough so you'll know what's going on during pregnancy and the first year of birth. Go get it today!

Elvis · 7 months ago

I really cant wait for the new guy or gal , to bring some sunshine into my live, I hear they are a buddle of joy, but ja will to that.

ha ha ha ha

Born Loser · 6 months ago

Oh, bravo! Bully for you, why don't you just run out and have your c++k bronzed for all the world to share. Better still, why not let me have a go with your wife, seeing as how mine is barren as the bloody Sahara. Once again, bully for you, braggart.

Tyler · 6 months ago

Thanks for the useless comment. I'd prefer you grow a pair of your own and then come back to leave me a meaningful and useful comment.

Born Loser · 6 months ago

Not a useless comment at all....just a simple question. My wife is unable to have children and as I am 42, I'd like to become a father too before I'm dead and gone. People like yourself who can breed like bloody rabbits don't realize some aren't that fortunate. Enjoy your sodding Father's Day.

Tyler · 6 months ago

I guess I missed the question in your first comment. I thought your comment was out of line and seeing that you've never read this blog before you failed to realize that my wife and I can't breed like "bloody rabbits". It took us almost 2 years to successfully get pregnant and for both pregnancies we had to get help from a fertility doctor.

I'm sorry your wife can't get pregnant - I truly am. I have a great friend who is in the same position as you so I know what you're going through. She had two boys during her 1st pregnancy but has had at 3 misscarriages with my friend.

Boricua0383 · 4 months ago

Well...I hope I really become a better man. I'm 26 and jobless at the moment. My girlfriend told me a few hours ago that's she is pregnant. We're shocked and puzzled. We did our best to make sure this didn't happen. I've never felt so lost before. I have to confess I'm petrified and very concerned for my girlfriend who seems depressed and stressing out. But... at the same time i feel a bit excited about the whole thing. I hope I can adjust. Thanks for writing this article. it relaxed me a bit.

Scott · 4 months ago

Good luck, I know having a baby is very stressful, and I can't imagine what it feels like to be in your shoes. But I will say, Tyler is right on the money with this post when he says kids show you just what true love is. In the long run, the hard times are worth it.

Tyler · 4 months ago

I have found that if you can express your joy and happiness to her then more than likely she'll be able to see the joy in the situation. Yes, you have every right to be worried and puzzled - it happens to everyone whether or not they tried to get pregnant for 2 years or got pregnant accidentally.

You may not realize it yet but the fact that your worried and scared is a good sign that you're already embracing the role of father. I'd be more worried about you if you didn't care at all.

montywheeler · 4 months ago

When my first son was born it was the happiest day of my life. I felt a since of pride that I never knew i could feel. FIghting to make a good life for my wife and two boys is what has given me the will to go back to school and better my educationl. So i can provide them not only with a stable home but not have to work a job 100 hours a week to give them what they need most thats a husband and father