Building Camelot - Latest Comments in 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

comic book reviews — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:10:47 -0000

Learning to be aware of and trying to control my selfishness will be a big challenge for me and probably for many other men out there. Selfishness can cause some contention on the home front and it’s harder to manage than I realized.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

CLUBPENGUINCHEATS — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 02:36:28 -0000

You have maybe the coolest Blog I've seen...Really impressed.
Thanks for carrying all the torches you are!
Hope to link up with you soon.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Elliott - 21st Century Dad — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:53:16 -0000

I read this article way back when it was first published, but some things have happened to trigger a 2nd visit.

Right now, I'm going through a difficult time, and re-reading this post helped me out.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

VegasDad — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:31:24 -0000

Marraige has been one the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs I've ever had. I hope I don't get fired anytime soon.

<abbr>VegasDads last blog post..a week in disarray</abbr>

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:57:14 -0000

@DadsHouse: Great to hear from you. I'm a fan of your blog and you certainly can speak about divorce and how it has affected not only your life, but also the life of your children. Hope to hear from you again.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

dadshouse — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 22:42:04 -0000

Great advice! Stay married. As a divorced single dad, I can say divorce was the most painful thing I ever went through. I came out of it okay, and so did my kids, but my ex and I talk every day as co-parents. Looking back, it seems we should have figured out a way to evolve and grow as inviduals within the couple. Instead, we're growing as inviduals apart, but with our kids forever tieing us together.

<abbr>dadshouses last blog post..Meeting Women the Old Fashioned Way</abbr>

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Ron — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:05:13 -0000

Maybe the stigma is because of the word "work." Call it anything you want. Just make sure you do it if you want your relationship to last and continue to grow.

<abbr>Rons last blog post..May December News: Continuing the Search for Research</abbr>

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

meta-DAD — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:01:50 -0000

yes x 5

<abbr>meta-DADs last blog post..A Search Engine With a Human Touch?</abbr>

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

David Taylor — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:24:51 -0000

oops, should be healthymarriagetc.org

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

David Taylor — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:24:16 -0000

Tyler,

Somehow your post ended up on one of my Google alerts. Really good post, realistically hopeful and a good guide for guys. I think you were especially on regarding the learning and work.

I work for a marriage strengthening program in Texas, and happen to know that one of the best such programs is in Chattanooga. It’s called First Things First (www.firstthings.org) and if they don’t go to your area, they probably know who does.

One of the best ways to strengthen any marriage is to take a marriage enrichment course. As you mentioned there is a stigma regarding “working” on your marriage, but really, it’s not any different than improving any skill. You mentioned golfing; how good were you your first seven years? And how much time did you spend practicing, (not playing) golf over those 7 years? Same thing.

The courses can be from a faith or secular perspective, your choice. Give the Firstthings people a look, and good luck.

BTW, several comments mentioned living with your future spouse first. Did you know that actually increases the risk of divorce?

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 14:47:21 -0000

@Joe - I think your comment is a whole other story!
@Ron: Thanks again for checking in. I think we all get some level "cold fee" - I think it's natural. Marriage is a big deal and certainly shouldn't be taken lightly and maybe more couples need to ask brutally honest questions before taking the plunge.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Ron — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:04:12 -0000

Cristien:

I guess I would want to hear why you feel the need to ask that question. Wedding jitters or "oh, my God, what am I doing?" I know few married couples who didn't ask your question before, and even during, the wedding. I also know quite a few who should have listened to their gut. Unfortunately, only you know the answer to your question.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Joe — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:36:06 -0000

Let me add one to those you've mentioned: all the booty you no longer get.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:52:14 -0000

@Christien: Uuuummmm....I'd say no but it never hurts to plan ahead and be aware of some of the challenges that marriages face. I appreciate you stopping by and it's good to hear from you.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Christien — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:16:15 -0000

I'm about to take the plunge. Do I get out now? ;->

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 10:49:25 -0000

@Wendy: The thing is we did live together for a while before we got married. I know there are two schools of thought on the subject and I'd like to think all married couples experience the same ups and downs. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
@Ron: Good to hear from you - thanks for the comment. Glad to hear that you enjoyed the article. It makes me feel a little better that you're a couples counselor and my thoughts aren't too out in left field.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Ron Lambert — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 23:16:43 -0000

Hey, just "stumbled" on you. I'm now nearing 50 years of marriage (not consecutively) and I still got a lot out of what you have to say. Not only that, I'm a couples counselor! Good work. I liked it a lot.

Ron Lamberts last blog post..May December News: I search and still find no research.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Wendy — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 23:01:05 -0000

Living with your fiance before marriage -- preferably for at least six months -- can smooth out a lot of this. Generally good advice, though, and well-written!

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Bryan — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:57:14 -0000

I knew all these things, I think it's common sense.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Avis Bailee — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:52:17 -0000

I think, there was a whole other person with their own unique qualities and that those qualities were meant to supply the lack in the qualities of my own being just as those qualities unique to me were meant to supply the lack in her. Since she died i am wondering if i shall be so blessed again, even tho my life is decent, it would be awesome to see if that is again possible, or if that was my one great and true love.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:10:32 -0000

@Daryl: We take classes for just about everything else we want to learn about...why not marriage? Isn't it the one thing we all want to get an "A" in? Thanks for stopping by and for leaving a comment.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Daryl Campbell — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:40:21 -0000

One thing we are never taught is how to “pass” marriage.

There are times when I think I need to go back to night school. Or at least take a couple of remedial courses every few months.

Daryl Campbells last blog post..When Someone Tries To Sabotage Your Potential Relationship

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 16:35:25 -0000

I like your blog a lot, but one thing that would be of great interest is if you were more specific instead of vague. WHen people say things like "I am so selfish" I really wonder if they're actually only talking about fighting over the last apple in the fruit bowl. Or if they say "Move, get out of my way!" and push his wife out the way to get out the door first.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

Tyler — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 15:17:59 -0000

@Scott: Compromising is tough to do and it's probably something that a lot of men (and maybe some women) struggle with.
@Gregg: I don't even remember what life was like before children and marriage. I do know that I'm a better person because of it all. I'm surprised your daughter "let" you go with her...that's pretty cool. I hope my daughters enjoy time with their dad when they get older.
@CharmaineZoe: Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate the Buzz!
@Jeremy: I agree - the rewards are great because the journey isn't easy!
@DadOrBust: I'm with ya on that one...I find that my GPS is often low on battery power also. Either that or I'm so deep in the forest I don't get a signal.
@Scott: Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment. I appreciate the kind words and hope to be in touch soon.

Re: 5 Things That Surprised Me Most About Marriage

scott hammond — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 14:16:43 -0000

Dude,
You have maybe the coolest Blog I've seen...Really impressed.
Thanks for carrying all the torches you are!
Hope to link up with you soon.
Best,
Scott Hammond
FO-9

scott hammonds last blog post..5 Needs of Sons